Are You Cool Enough Yet?

Father’s Day, 2015, mid-afternoon; kids are gone, I’m finishing up the last talking-head news show on the DVR, and Maggie drops down in the oversized chair across from the sofa where I recline.

“Are you cool enough yet?” she asks.

I look at her as if she has three eyes. I sweat if I blink my eyes. The central air is running on high, the ceiling fans are whirring away, and the single window unit in the boy’s room next to me is humping out BTUs at 70-degrees Fahrenheit. I’m in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, haven’t moved an inch for fear of generating a calorie of mechanical heat, and she’s wrapped in her terrycloth mom robe and pulling on a pair of my white calf-high athletic socks.

“You’re cold?”

“I wanted to dress nice for you on Father’s Day but I’m freezing. Can we turn the air condition off?”

“Off? It’s June. Its 88-degrees outside. Humidity is 55% and you’re cold.”

“Not cold. Freezing.”

“Maybe you should break out the winter coats.”

I don’t get women. At night, in bed, she’s cold, then hot, then cold. We still have the electric blanket on the bed and she uses her side of it, on high, until she kicks it onto me. I can’t keep up. Neither can Murphy. He gave up sleeping in the bed until after she gets up in the morning. Then he climbs in with me. Great. He weighs more than she does. Takes up more room too.

Am I the only one?

Best Regards,

DB

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Father’s Day – 2015

I woke this morning about 7:15, Maggie was on her morning run, Murphy lay in the living room waiting for her, and the sun beat through the bedroom window with an annoying persistence that I swore was intentional.

Queue the pillow.

Next thing I knew, Maggie was milling about, albeit quietly, rooting through drawers for something other than running attire.

“What time is it,” I groaned.

“7:25.”

There’s something inherently unfair about that.

  

“Happy Father’s Day!”

I had forgotten, having spent the day yesterday with my son and daughter, and my awesome grandkids. More on that in a minute.

“Father’s Day,” I repeated. “That’s right.”

“So,” she continued, “do you want breakfast before I go to church? I assume you’re not going today?”

“Yeah. I thought I’d skip today. I figured God would give me a pass, being a Father himself ‘n all. 

I can wait till you get back. I’ll just make some coffee and do a little writing.”

“OK,” she said. “You can watch your morning shows while I make breakfast. I thought I’d make you a fruit smoothie.”

“A what? Don’t we have any bacon? Any eggs?”

“I thought you wanted to eat healthier.”

“Well, yeah … but not on Father’s Day.”

So, about yesterday.

With married children, comes two (or more) sets of parents, and visitation on these special Hallmark days can be a scheduling challenge. So, in order to accommodate everyone, we split the weekend. I find it best to book my side of the “holiday” early (like a month early), and on the Saturday side of the weekend in order to leave Sunday, my absolute favorite day of the week, open.  Now since the two boys are almost school age, and the little girl, the one who stole my heart, is almost three, and because I just love the animated movies Pixar produces, that’s what I decided I wanted to do for Father’s Day. I treated everyone to the movies.

We saw Inside Out, and before I left the theater, I knew I would pay to see it again. It was hands down the best Pixar movie of the Pixar bunch, and that’s saying something.

Without giving anything away, the premise was one of emotions personified in the mind of young Riley Anderson: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Disgust. These characters appear one at a time as the story progresses, as do her surroundings: family, friends, school, sports, all parts of her personality represented by islands, bridged to her mind through associated short, long, and core memories.

The writing is just brilliant.

I cheated just a little and read a terrific review, and noted something that I didn’t pick up on, but actually knew all along. I will not try to paraphrase it here as I could do it no justice, so I have linked it from this page. But I will say that this is a story about growing up, about the trials and tribulations we all go through to one degree or another. It’s about being a kid. It’s about being a parent. It’s about being human. You will laugh, you will cry (yeah, even you big guy), but mostly, you will walk away with a renewed appreciation for those you love.

Go see the movie.

Love your family.

Life is far too short.     

Best Regards,

DB

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A New Approach

I got a crazy idea last month.

Sales of Chain of Evidence were … disappointing. When I wrote the book, I had hoped for a multi-book deal that I could retire with so I could write my way into the sunset. Ah dreams. They’re nice to have. Nicer when they come true. But I was lucky to get a single book deal, and my last royalty check came to something just shy of $18. That won’t even pay for the vodka. In fact, I spent more going to signings and book fairs last year than I brought in. So doing the math, I should quit writing if I ever want to retire.  

Dreams dashed.

And why shouldn’t they be? I have no publicist. I have no marketing effort to speak of, save social media, and I can’t keep shouting HERE I AM! READ MY BOOK! BUY MY BOOK! and hope to be heard above the throngs of others shouting the same thing. Besides, it’s tacky. At least I think it is.

I thought to myself, there has to be a better way.

And there is.

Hire a publicity firm and spend about three grand.

I’m considering it.

Say goodbye to retirement, at least for another year or two.

Then I had that crazy idea I mentioned earlier. I’m not even sure where it came from, but I thought I’d give it a try. I sure as hell had nothing to lose.

I thought that I’d try something new in the way of Twitter, Facebook, and Blogger. I created a Twitter identity for my protagonist, Moby Truax. I figure if great white sharks have Twitter accounts, why not Moby? I coupled that with a blog that I created for him in the way of personal journal entries—brief lead-ins to his scenes in the novel.

NO SHOUTING!

Just subtle hints and teasers as to what lies within the pages. Then I added links to the other journal entries like the one following.

Journal Entry #1 - Another girl was murdered last night.

Much to my surprise, in just 30 days, I’m getting hits from seven different countries spanning Europe, Asia, Northern Africa, the Pacific Rim, and America, and more are coming every day. I don’t know what this will do for my retirement, but I find it very exciting.  

So … let’s see what that next royalty check looks like.

Best Regards,

DB

Website - www.dbcorey.com

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